Rainbow Brite: All That Shimmers Must Surely Fade

When I was about 4 years old, the world felt like a magical place. Life was filled with new discoveries, friendly animals, and most importantly magical cartoons.

Oh the cartoons.

Those wonderful little VCR tapes were like conveyer belts pulling me into another world. A world that I truly believed existed and I so dearly wished to be a part of.

There was one cartoon character that I loved more than any other. And that was no one other, than the Rainbow Brite.

I loved everything about her and her world. It was so happy and full of color. She and her trusty horse Star Lite would travel across their land spreading color and happiness. And do you know what Star Lite would run on? Rainbows! The girl rode on freakin rainbows! I can’t make this shit up. She was amazing and I hoped with every fiber of my young being, that I could one day see her world.

I wish I could convey to you all how much my soul longed to visit her world called Rainbow Land a place where all the colors of the world are created.

I wanted this so badly, that one time I had a vivid dream I was in Rainbow Land helping Rainbow Brite surf the rainbows. It was all so real, that when I woke up, I actually started crying because I realized it was only a dream. Heartbreaking, I know. 

Well something happened one day and my little dream became just inches away from my tiny little grasp.

I imagined meeting Rainbow Brite and she being exactly how she was in her cartoons. I imagined she would whisk me away from the party and take me up into the sky with her rainbows.

But then my mother’s words came crashing down upon my thoughts.

I went into my bedroom to brood. I knew when my mother made up her mind about something there was very little that could change it. But I decided I would try.

No.

I would succeed.

I set my course and proceeded with valor. 

First I tested the water with the use of logic:

Did she not hear what I had just said?

I decided it was time to move onto phase 2 of my plan.

I didn’t want to resort to extreme measures, but I told myself that it was my mother’s own fault for arguing against such infallable logic.

I was never much of a temper tantrum child. I was known to get a bit whiny from time to time, but I was going to have to do better than that to change my mother’s mind.

I decided to begin with a “test whine” in order to feel out the air.

Time to take it up a notch.

Looks like she too had a healthy fear of Santa Claus.  Wise decision.

I was ecstatic.

In the days and evenings leading up to the party I dreamed of nothing else but of how my day with Rainbow Brite would be.

 

 

When the day of the party finally came, my mind was floating through a cloudy haze.

The party was located in town at one of those family pizza places where they had arcade games and bumper cars and you could win prizes by collecting tickets.

As we walked inside, my mother was holding my hand and I was only acutely aware that my arm was practically being pulled out of socket from all my bouncing around.

 

I was so excited about the fact that in just minutes I would be seeing Rainbow Brite, that I forgot the whole reason we were there.

Mom: Here’s your gift for Rachel. Why don’t you go take it over to her?

Me: Who?

Mom: Rachel! Your friend. The whole reason why we’re here!

She so did not get me.

Throughout the party, I went through the motions of being a good friend.

I played the games.

I watched Rachel open her gifts.

And I actively participated in the singing of “Happy Birthday.”

 

But even after all that excitement I was still over-anxious to meet my hero.

All of a sudden, I heard someone call out: “Look! Rainbow Brite is here!”

 

 

 

 

Ok, can we please review what I thought I was getting when the invite said “Rainbow Brite?”

Yeah. that’s right. So imagine my dissapointment when I looked up into the face of this monster.

 

I could totally see it was a person in a costume. Their wrists were even showing!

Where was Starlite? Where were her magic star crystals? Where was  the frikin rainbow?

All the other children had decided that they would take what they could get and gathered around this foam atrocity in a mob of excitement.

I, on the other hand was heartbroken and wanted to stay as far away as possible.

I was hoping to be left alone to sulk in a pool of broken hopes, but upon noticing my isolation, my mother intervened.

Mom: Alexa, why don’t you come play with Rainbow Brite.

Me: That’s not Rainbow Brite.

Mom: Er, sure it is!

Pssh. Poor Mother. I suppose she wanted so badly to believe it was the real Rainbow Brite that she had deluded herself along with the rest of the children. I decided not to steal her innocence and let her have her dream.

Me: Sure Mom. Why don’t you go play with her?

I was hoping to be able to spend the rest of the party sulking and stealing cake, but my mother was going to have nothing of it. I had wanted to be here so damn bad and I was going to enjoy myself by golly.

No I wasn’t.

 

She was closing in on me and I wanted nothing to do with this imposter. I wanted to get out of there and it didn’t matter to me at what cost.

Mom pulled me aside from the party.

Mom: What is wrong with you? You said you wanted to see Rainbow Brite.

Me: Yeah. And that’s not her!

Mom: Look, you were the one who wanted to come here so badly! You were willing to miss out on Tara’s party…

Me: Tara! That’s right. Hey, do you think we can stop by Tara’s?

Mom: What? No!

Me: Do you think Waddles the Clown is still there?

Mom: No! We’re going home.

Me: So…what, you think he’s gone already?

After that day there were no temper tantrums thrown on my part.

We headed to the car. By that time, the party had pretty much took a turn for the worse and I suppose Rainbow Brite was asked to leave.

When my mom and I drove out of the parking lot, I looked out the window and saw the girl who was in the Rainbow Brite costume. She was at her car getting changed.

As we drove away, the imposter and I made eye contact

We both knew her sins.

Discussion:

Alexa, I’m either Canadian or I’m younger than you and don’t know who Rainbow Brite is. Help me out.

Lucky for you there is actually an entire website dedicated to all that is RBB. So, yes, there is someone out there who obviously loved her more than I did and has grown up and created this amazing url of knowlege to share with the world. It’s at www.rainbowbrite.net

AND……Rainbow Brite is on Twitter!!!!

PS I say “Canadian” because while writing this post, I spoke to some people up here my age and none of them knew who she was, so I’m assuming it was an American thing. Kind of like not recycling.

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13 Comments

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13 responses to “Rainbow Brite: All That Shimmers Must Surely Fade

  1. Kayla

    Rainbow Brite is not just an American cartoon – we got it up here too – I used to watch it, loved it and also had a doll or two of Rainbow brite! 🙂

  2. Sarah

    My hero was Strawberry Shortcake but I also dreamed of living with the Care Bears in Carealot! Miss you Lexi!!!!

  3. Jacquie

    I’m Canadian and I loooooove Rainbow Brite! I still have The Mighty Monstromurk Menace on VHS and my plush Lurky toy. As soon as I saw your post I had a million flashback memories and my favourite being this…
    I had a BETA tape back in the 80’s that had Strawberry Shortcake, Rainbow Brite, Carebears etc. I watched it religiously. My brother one day taped over the entire thing with a few episodes of Tour of Duty (a vietnam war drama). I lost it on him and to this day have never forgive him. One year for Christmas he found me all of the episodes he taped over from eBay. This has aided me in forgiving him slightly but that will never replace my cherished BETA tape. Thanks for bringing back the memories!

  4. Cyndi

    I swear I am just rolling reading this. I can so picture you thinking out your strategy and trying to manipulate your Mother. HAHAHAHAHA, Love You Kiddo!!

  5. Matt

    I used to love Heman and GI Joe so I can relate. So funny. Great blog.

  6. Lisa

    Hilarious! I love your blog!

  7. Allie

    So funny. You make me proud!

  8. Amber

    Used to love rainbow Brite! I am Canadian too btw so the show was on here! The 80s were fantastic! I had a strawberry shortcake comforter though as we couldn’t find a rainbow Brite one! I would have been traumatized by the imposter too!

    • Thanks for your comment, Amber, and everyone else! I would like to formally apologize to the Canadians for doubting their RBB love. While I was writing this post, I asked around to a few girls up here and they had never heard of her and said “Must be an American thing.” I guess I was asking the wrong girls. 🙂 Thanks for reading and commenting! My next post is in the works.

      • Lana Kading

        Alexa – I love your blogs! I always read it through immediately and then re-read it. I was just wondering, though, why does your mom have blonde hair at the party and light brown hair other places? Does it have something to do with the colors of Rainbow Brite? Just asking!

  9. Melanie

    Definitely not an “American Thing”! Rainbow Brite found all her way around to Germany in the 1980s. 🙂 Well, travelling on rainbows, that might not have been such a difficult thing to accomplish. 😉 I loved that show as a child. And I loved your blog entry (and facebook for bringing it to my attention 😉 )! Could have been me. 😉 Although, I must admitt, my heroine of the show wasn’t Rainbow Brite, it was Moonglow. I would have given the world for helping her making the moon and stars shine britely at night! 🙂

    Love,
    Melanie

    • Hey Melanie! I’m so happy to see that I have a fan(s) in Germany! It makes me so happy. I stand corrected that RBB is an “America thing.” I apologize for doubting your Rainbow Brite love. I’m glad to see I have a fellow 80’s friend. I loved Moonglow too!
      I’ll be putting up a new post really soon, probably in the next few days, so stay tuned! I’d love another comment from Germany. 🙂

  10. Kane Peters

    This made my day! Your artwork is great! You really nail the pacing and each frame is exactly what it needs to be to convey the emotion. Absolutely one of your best. It’s fantastically hilarious!

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