So I decided that in honor of my 4,000th blog hit since switching from Blogger to WordPress, I would reward my faithful readers by releasing some of my elementary school photos.
Actually, I’m really not sure if it’s entirely accurate to call this a “reward.”
In spirit of the usual self-deprecating tone of alexaopalhamilton.com, I was actually going to ruthlessly make fun of each of these pictures. But doing so, for some reason, made me feel guilty.
Like, how sad would Past Alexa be if, while struggling for acceptance, she knew that even Future Alexa was making fun of her. Pretty pathetic.
So, I decided to just present the pictures here and allow you all to make your own comments while I will keep mine to a minimum.
And now…A peep hole into my childhood:
FIRST GRADE:
SECOND GRADE:
THIRD GRADE:
Future Alexa says: Why would a girl with naturally very curly hair think it’s a good idea to get a perm from a local salon called: “The Bigger Your Hair, The Closer You Are to God.” This is just an unfortunate result of being a product of 1980’s residue and living in a small southern town.
FOURTH GRADE:
Future Alexa: I like to call this picture: “A Celebration of Southwestern Glory”
God himself designed that shirt.
What’s scary is the above picture is actually a retake because I didn’t like the first one. I don’t know where that original picture is. It’s probably floating around the world through a bunch of forwarded emails. Like this:
FOURTH GRADE FRIEND PHOTO:
Future Alexa says: Boys don’t like you.
I never realized, until just now, how truly lezbonic this pic looks. I don’t really know what was going on.
I don’t know if those spots on the wall are decorative splatter paint (which btw should be an oxymoron). Or if it’s stains from the suns atomic nucleus exploding from my shirt.
Ok so I guess Future Alexa did get out of hand and chastise poor Past Alexa. But that’s what this blog is all about. I don’t have any of my older–5th grade on–photos with me. But if you like these and I hear you want more, maybe I could dig those out. And, not to tease your curiosity, but I have to tell you that I was a big fan of multicolored silk shirts and vests back then.
Thanks for being a faithful reader.
Alexa Opal Hamilton 