Don’t Talk to Me About Your Purse

Although for the most part I usually enjoy socializing with friends….

…I admit that sometimes I do take them for granted.

But that’s because some people like to talk about really stupid shit.



But there is hope here. Whenever a new conversation arises, there’s always a small window of opportunity–before everyone gets too sucked in–to say something and distract everyone.

So I yell out the first thing that pops into my head.

The very first thing.


But it’s just no use.

I am chest deep in some purse talking crap-ola. (Spanish for “poo”).

So I try to give myself a talk and remind myself that I don’t always have to enjoy every conversation that comes up. And that sometimes when I am around people, they’re going to talk about things that either don’t interest me, or annoy the living hell out of every membrane in my system.

The mature thing to do would be to relax and wait them out.

But then it just gets to a point when I give in to my primal “Id” and begin thinking really mean….primal thoughts.

But wait a minute! I know what will shut them up. I suddenly realize that my purse is waaaaaay better than all of their purses combined.

So I throw open my bag and out he jumps!






Hey ladies! Did you like the purses you saw on the blog today? Well, GREAT NEWS! They are all on sale exclusively at the blog sight today!

Let’s start off with this sassy little number!

I call this one “Mortgage” because that’s exactly what you will not have, after you purchase this beauty.

But don’t stress, because it’s totally worth it!

Who needs a roof over their head anyway?

Woah, slow down and come to a complete stop for this bargain!

This smart traffic sign inspired handbag can be touted anywhere from the

runway, all the way to the board room.

It tells the world “Hey, not only am I street savvy, but I also have a mind for business.”

Kind of like a hooker.

Because when you aren’t born with Social Status,

you sure as hell better be able to buy it!



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10 responses to “Don’t Talk to Me About Your Purse

  1. Amazing! I often feel that way with some of my friends. I just smile, nod and sing the Gilligan’s Island theme song in my head until it’s time to return to the land of the living.

  2. Jen

    haha, I like to pull out my man-wallet! So much more accessible than an 80lb lady wallet and it matches all of my 4 pair of shoes (although I will admit I don’t keep it in my back pocket – my butt doesn’t need the extra lump).

  3. Regan

    HAHAHA “Targe” was hilarious! You should write sales slogans for a living!

    Another great blog Alexa. Always love reading these.

    • Alexa H

      Thanks Regan! Glad you liked it. Ryan is looking forward to seeing you guys when he heads out west. Wish I were coming too!


      • Regan

        Wish you were out here too! I’m razzing Ryan, trying to get him to bring you out this way in the summer. You guys are always welcome to stay with us.

        It has been great catching up with Ryan this trip. Love the extended stays.

  4. This so reminds me of how my girlfriends get excited when a special edition of some fashion magazine comes out while I sit by my mailbox in anticipation for the annual best restaurant guide from Toronto Life.

  5. dawgdzinz

    This must be a female thing… ’cause all we guys talk about is sports, the weather and sometimes girls.

    Maybe I should look into getting a purse?

  6. Jeff

    Hilarious! Great blog. Can’t wait for the next one.

  7. ARK

    Reminds me of an old (and appropriate) joke.
    Question: Why should you never buy shoes for a woman with a colostomy?
    Answer: You can never match the bag.
    Sorry, couldn’t pass up the opportunity. Link added in case you have the fortune to not know what one is.

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